Guangzhou Hash House Harriers
September & October 2015
Hashvertisement #1339 – The APEC-Blue Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
China is celebrating the 70th anniversary of the American victory over the Japanese and the subsequent liberation from its oppressor. And whenever something that big is on the agenda we from the Guangzhou Hash are celebrating, too, because for us it means that we can expect an APEC-blue sky.
When: Saturday, September 5, 2015 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
What: Hashtastic weather
Hares: Muffdiver and 00
On On,
00
Hashvertisement #1340 – The Officially Popular Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
We have officially been acknowledged as maintaining one of the most popular websites! Hooray. On the down side this also means that you have to use a VPN-connection if you want to visit our website from within China.
What else does this mean for our hash? Nothing at all, really. We will still have the most adventurous trails, the wittiest circles and the yummiest dinners. Need proof?
When: Saturday, September 12, 2015 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Cum Cannon and Three Inches of Pain
On On,
00
Hashvertisement #1341 – The GM Changeover Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
I just had a look at my watch and I noticed that I have been the Grand Master of the Guangzhou Hash for over 4 years already. That’s about time to let someone else take over, isn’t it?
When: Saturday, September 19, 2015 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Muffdiver and 00
On On,
00
Hashvertisement Full Moon Hash #112 - The Unmissable Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Full Moon Hash,
For their last Full Moon Hash the hares have found an extraordinary trail.
When: Thursday, September 24, 2015 @ 7.30 PM
Where: Line 1, Martyr’s Park Station, Exit C
Hares: 00 and Angry Dragon
On On,
00
Reminder Full Moon Hash #112 – The Unmissable Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Full Moon Hash,
A lot of people have asked us whether the marking will be as confusing as in previous months. Well, Angry and I hadn’t really planned for that, but if this is what the pack wants then we will surely comply. We therefore are proud to announce that we could win Muffdiver to join the haring team. That should do the trick.
When: Thursday, September 24, 2015 @ 7.30 PM
Where: Line 1, Martyr’s Park Station, Exit C
Hares: Angry Dragon, 00 and now also Muffdiver
On On,
00
Hashvertisement #1342 - The Long Deflouration Hash
About fifteen years before the PRC was founded, a bunch of guys went on what was like the longest hash ever. It was so loooong...and haaaard...that they called it a “march.” Come to think of it, they must have run out of beer at a certain point, so it cannot be called a hash in the real sense of the word anyway. In any case, these hashers avant la lettre became very important people in the beautiful country where we now live, and which was founded 66 years ago this Thursday.
To commemorate this joyous founding, the hares have found a loooong and haaaard trail which resembles the ordeal of the Great Helmsman and his comrades. Like the aforementioned march, this hash shall ravage vast amounts of virgin territory, and troops shall be following inexperienced young hares. One of them will be bloodily defloured on the shiggy hills.
Don't miss it.
What: Guangzhou Hash Run #1342
Hares: Turtlehead, Red Light Strict Dick, and Judy.
Where: Gold Mango Bar - Taojin Metro Exit B
When: Saturday, September 26, 2015 - 1:00 PM
Hashvertisement Hash #1343 – The Redemption Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Hello Sailor has promised for a long time that he will somehow organize to set the toughest trail in the history of Guangzhou Hashing. This Saturday the time for redemption has arrived.
When: Saturday, October 3, 2015 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Short Walk: Hello Sailor, LONG and HARD Run: Little Semen
On On,
00
Hashvertisement Hash #1344 – The Super-Generous Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Rejoice!
The Guangzhou Hash has a full-time webwanker again! What does this mean for you guys? It means that all pictures you take (starting from the moment you enter the Gold Mango Bar at 1PM until the moment you leave the Gold Mango Bar after you have helped to put the buckets back into the lockers) are strictly speaking property of the Hash. However, the new webwanker is really super-generous. If you send your photos to him you can keep your own copy! Your webwanker will then upload the photos to the really cool GZH3 website so that everyone can see them.
What happens if you don’t pass them to the webwanker? Well, then don’t be surprised if you find yourself sitting on a cool block of ice instead.
When: Saturday, October 10, 2015 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Cum Cannon and 00
On On,
00
Hashvertisement Hash #1345 – The Sharp Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
This hash is called the sharp one because we are going to leave from the Mango Bar at 1.30 sharp. We are going to have a long bus ride and an even longer virgin trail ahead of us, and also the weather will be absolutely hashedelic. This means that the bus will be very full, even if we make good use of the above luggage compartment and store 8 or 10 harriettes in them.
When: Saturday, October 17, 2015 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Cum Cannon with virgin hare Forget-Me-Twat
On On,
00
Hashvertisement Hash #1346 – The Unknown Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Another Saturday in Guangzhou means another Best Hash Ever. This time the hares will bring you on an entirely virginal trail. In fact, the trail is so virginal that even the locals don’t know about its existence. Could it get any better? Probably yes. Learn how.
When: Saturday, October 24, 2015 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Cum Cannon and 00
On On,
00
Hashvertisement for Full Moon Hash #113 - The Annual Helloween Hash
Ladies and "Gentlemen" of the Guangzhou Hash,
It is my distinct honor and pleasure to announce that you will be having not one, but TWO opportunities to get your Helloween Hash on in 2015! In addition to the Saturday Hash, the Full Moon Hash will be running on Friday, and the Hares have assured me that this will, indeed, go down in Hash lore as the greatest Helloween Eve Hash in history!
Plan on dark alleys, black cats, and some special brews to properly start your Helloween. If your lucky, you may even run into one of Yuexiu's best 'ladies of the night,' as Papasan has spent weeks using his connections in the business to line the trail with scantily-clad wenches/witches of all varieties. Be sure to wear some sort of costume or get-up on the run and you will be rewarded with a great trail and cold beer!
What: GZFMH3 Run #113 - The Helloween Eve Hash
When: Friday, October 30 @ 7:30PM
Where: Xi Men Kou Station, Exit B (Line 1)
Hares: Papasan and Fill-Her-Up!
On On Friday for the best Helloween Eve Hash ever!
-Three Inches of Pain
Hashvertisement #1347 - The Atomic Halloween Hash
Ladies and "Gentlemen" of the Guangzhou Hash,
Allow me to offer you the perfect solution to overpriced Halloween parties, the 11 different "BIGGEST ZOMBIE WALK EVER" advertisements you've seen incessantly advertised over the past weeks, and the never-ending decisions you have to make about whether to dress as a slutty police officer, a slutty nurse, or whether you already qualify as a slutty witch:
The GZH3 Atomic Halloween Hash at 12:30PM!
Fear not, Hashers of Guangzhou, for Saturday's hares have laid (among other things) a haunting, killer trail that they have promised will be the best thing you can do with your time and 50RMB this Halloween at 12:30PM. You have your choice of a normal-length hash trail and a ball-busting 18K ATOMIC trail featuring spiders and hashers resembling zombies at the B point.
***GM's Note: I'm not sure why this is called the "Atomic" Hash, but this was instructed to me by the hares. I am assuming that either the size of the spiders or the hares' personal appearance make one think they came from the Chernobyl area.***
Also, there will be an unlimited supply of amber candy waiting at the B point for our hashers. Our candy contains no sugar, has no wrappers, and makes life better.
To clarify once more, we will be meeting at 12:30PM and there will be TWO trails: a normal-length trail and a Ballbuster, which means we have to meet at 12:30PM this week.
Cum one, cum all to the greatest Halloween Hash in Guangzhou in 2015 at 12:30PM!
What: GZH3 Run #1347 - The Atomic Halloween Hash at 12:30PM
When: Saturday, October 31, 2015 @ 12:30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar @ 12:30PM
Hares: Gorf, Dyu Lai Lama, and Turtlehead
On On!
Three Inches of Pain