Guangzhou Hash House Harriers
#1202 - The Five Star Hash
Dear Guangzhou Hashers,
5 Star Hashing……it exists!!!!!
Limousine bus, the finest flour, virgin trails, carefully selected Certified Hares, World Heritage viewpoints, model pig farms, imported GM, VIP only circle, B-point swimming pool, fine wining/dining and civilized drunks…..
All will be there this Saturday so cum……
Other details:
Meet at Mango bar 1:30PM
A to B run
Walkers/Runners split
Hares: Forrest Hump & Constipation
ONON!!
Constipation
#1204 - The Two Buses Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
How do 75 and 82 add up to 2? It’s simple. Two weeks ago we had 75 hashers and one bus. That added up to 1 big screw-up. Last week we had 82 hashers and again only one bus. That also added up to 1 major screw-up. Therefore, if we get that many people again this time, we are going to have two buses. Accordingly, that will add up to 2 colossal scre—… hold on, somehow this equation doesn’t make as much sense anymore as it did during the Hash press conference at the Mango Bar very, very late last night.
But that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that the mismanagement has finally started to tackle the challenges arising from the increasing popularity of the Guangzhou Hash.
One big advantage of having two buses is that you can choose when you want to go home! Right after the circle the first bus will take everyone who had enough back to town, and the other one will stay with the hardcore hashers, who insist that a bash near the run-site is an essential and probably the best part of the hash.
When: Saturday, March 23, 2013 @ 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
What: More Comfort - More Flexibility - Same Price
Who: Thumbleprints and Fingerlicker
On a different note: Two more months until the Guangzhou Hash is going on a weekend hash again. Already mark May 25/26, 2013 in your calendar. Details will follow in due course.
On On,
00
#1201 - The Soul Saving Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Many of you will agree that the Guangzhou Hash is currently in a confused state and probably at the verge of entering a time of spiritual darkness. The problem is that during the past weeks too many people were giving too much so-called religious advice. Seemingly endless and admittedly fruitless arguments have shaken many hashers’ confidence in the right trail. Even the weather gods have given us unequivocal signs of warning upon our dangerous flirtations with paganism.
In a crisis meeting at the Mango Bar late last night, calls for proper religious advice got so loud that the mismanagement decided to fly in the only two people who we hope can restore faith in the hashing spirits. The real RA will once and for all end all petty discussions on how to correctly carry out the religious rites, by simply doing it the right way. And as you know, behind every great RA stands an even greater woman (aka ‘the AssGM’) without who trails would be too short and too flat. So let’s welcome back Sir Cum and Globetwatter who left the Maori summer in their home of New Zealand to save the soul of the Guangzhou Hash.
When: Saturday, March 2, 2013 @ 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Who: Globetwatter and Sir Cum
On On,
00
#1203 - The Triple Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
We neither promise nor rule out that you’ll get on this hash what a certain fitness club in Guangzhou is offering (see first attachment), but we can promise you a perfectly sized walker’s trail, an extraordinary runner’s trail and a tough ballbuster. Globetwatter, Gorf, Wasted Seed and all the others with that inexplicably deep desire for extra-long and extra-hard runs will finally cum to find true satisfaction.
What??? There will be three trails on Saturday? Can the hares do that?
Yes, they can! Find out how.
Where: Gold Mango Bar
When: Saturday, March 16th, 2013 @ 1.30 PM
What: satisfaction guaranteed
Who: Furry Thing*, 00, plus 1 mystery hare
On On,
00
*Learn more about hardships for furry things from the attachment.
March & April 2013
#1209 - Nothing But The Braves Hash
That’s right folks, Saturday is the nobody but the brave hash as nobody wanted to hare because nobody wanted the responsibility of making a group of Pommy and Aussie whingers smile and be happy with what they receive!
Forward strode a true ‘Brave Knight’ and his beautiful ‘Damsel’ with sword in hand to conquer these gay poofters with a Hash that will go down in the annals of history beside the stories of King Arthur and his knights of the round table. Yes, Hash 1208 will be all conquering!!!!
Where -Mango Bar
Time – If you are after 2 pm you will be left behind
Cost – If you need to ask – 500rmb, if you don’t usual price
Dinner – Best swordsman decides
Hares – The courageous ones
#1206 - The Tartan Day Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Tartan is a pattern consisting of criss-crossed horizontal and vertical bands in multiple colors, typically found on Scottish traditional clothing, and it’s probably the only pattern that a whole day of global and joyous celebrations has ever been dedicated to.
On Saturday, it’s been precisely 700 - give or take a few – years ago, since the infamous Declaration of Arbroath, in which the Scots vowed to wear tartan patterns no matter what, hence bringing about some kind of identity to themselves, and haunting the rest of the world with a lot of silly kilt jokes.
It goes without saying that it must be a Scotsman who hares such a historical run. Only good that the Guangzhou Hash can tap from a big pool of experienced Scottish hares, such as Shoeless Ho, Hello Sailor, Furry Thing or Floppy Disk to name just a few. After long and heated debates the mismanagement decided to give the honors to the most senior of all experienced Scottish hares - GPS. Wee Willy will serve as his sidekick, thus adding sufficient length, proper direction and German perfection to the trail.
On top, our Religious Advisor has promised that he is finally going to stop the rain by tomorrow afternoon, so that we can all look forward to a great day of hashing.
Absolutely NO bag pipes allowed, tartan or not!
When: April 6, 2013 @ 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
What: The Tartan Day Hash
Who: GPS, Wee Willy
On On,
00
The Hercules Full Moon Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Full Moon Hash,
As you know, Guangzhou is famous for delicious food (食在广州). Thus, our hares just consider that the coming fullmoon hash should not only have a wonderful trail, but also bring you to look for the yummy. Also, plenty of frozen Beer!
When: Thursday, 25th April, 7:30pm
Where: Metro Line 8, Xiaogang Station, Exit C (晓港站)
Who: papasan & sunshine
#1208 - The Non-Scientific Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
I have never really given much credit to those creationists who claim that science doesn’t hold all the answers to the mysteries of life. After last Saturday however, I think a more non-scientific approach might be the more promising answer to the mystery of setting a perfect hash trail.
After a long and hard research the mismanagement has identified the two hashers with the most non-scientific approach to all things in life. So be there when finally a hash trail is set that completely and utterly disregards all forms of science.
When: Saturday, April 20, 2013 @ 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Who: Hunkaspunk, Forest Hump
What: The Non-Scientific Hash
On On,
00
#1207 - The Scientific Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Where would we be without the achievements of modern science? Probably we'd still be stuck somewhere in the dark medieval days when emails weren’t sophisticated enough to even carry attachments. Thank Gods, those times have passed.
In order to prove that the mismanagement is going with the flow of time, please continue by opening and reading the attached hashvertisement.
On On,
00
