Guangzhou Hash House Harriers
#1145 - The Nuclear Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
The terrible disaster at the Japanese nuclear power plant of Fuck-u-Shima certainly made a big impression on nearly everyone around the globe, and even on some local officials of our beautiful power plant. As ordered by their superiors, they immediately identified the biggest safety threats, and subsequently Glowballs had to fuck off. In a second move to further strengthen over-all security, authorities are going to paint huge smileys on the cooling towers, as advised by Glowballs’ replacement, an experienced master of the old-age Chinese science of Feng Shui.
Glowballs, however, is a committed hasher, and so he is inviting the Guangzhou Hash to Taishan, where we are going to hash in, on and around his beautiful power plant. Guys, this is as close as you can get to your very own glowing balls. So don’t miss this unique opportunity.
You probably say ‘Wow, that's amazing!’ as you read this, and ask yourself how the hash can come up with just another great special event, and how they finance it?
The financing part is easy, we just charge you double. So be prepared to pay 100 RMB, yeah…
IMPORTANT: This is an all-day event. We meet at the Gold Mango, on Saturday, 18th, 2012, at 10.30 AM. So make sure you’ll get up a few hours earlier than normal.
No lunch on the bus!!!
Hares: Glowballs and Lisa
On On,
00
#1146 - The Great Leap Forward Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Don’t worry. We are not going to romanticize the early years of revolutionary China. This hashvertisement is entirely and exclusively on exciting Guangzhou Hash matters. Two of our fellow hashers will make a Great Leap Forward in their quest to become the first to receive the extremely cool, and – more importantly - highly prestigious running shorts, sponsored by the ‘Hares get Laid 2012’ campaign of the Guangzhou Hash. In fact, one of the hares is going to set her third hash since X’mas, the other one his second! That is certainly amazing and the pack will therefore want to celebrate them.
‘So who are these two fellow hashers who will leap forward so greatly on Saturday?’ you are probably asking yourself right now. Well, as all great hares, also these two are more humble than anything else, and have asked me not to reveal their names. Hence, my lips are sealed, and in the following their names have been scrambled by our own hash software to a state of non-recognition. So cum and find out who these fine hashers are. I can only disclose this much: The run will be long! And it will be hard!
Where: Gold Mango Bar
When: Saturday, February 25, 2012, at 1.30 PM
Who: Globetwaxxer and Sir Cxm
And this is what the charming representative of the Guangzhou Health Department, Ms. Mi Tuhai, had to say at the Hash press conference at the Mango last night:
‘Long! And Hard! hashes can be very strenuous, and Kiwi-style runs in particular are designed for humans and sheep only. Dogs, however, can face a dreadful fate, so better think twice before you expose your four legged friend to the Hash.’
Or better still: Don’t think about it at all.
On On,
00
#1144 - Soggy's 2nd F@ck Off Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Don’t miss the final chance to say farewell to Soggy, who promised us that he will definitely and affirmatively fuck off after this hash. We'll see.
When: Gold Mango Bar
Where: Tomorrow, Saturday, February 11th, 2012
On On,
00
January & February 2012
#1138 & 1139 - Soggy Biscuit's F@ck Off Hashes
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Happy 2012!!! The last hashing season ended with a Big Bang yesterday, and the new season is immediately starting with one of this year’s hashing highlights. Yes you heard right. Soggy Biscuit is fucking off, and the Guangzhou Hash has nothing better to do than to go away on a hash weekend.
The buses are filling up quickly, in fact the Friday bus might be overbooked already. So if you want to go, let us know soon. If you still would prefer to go on Friday, you should mention it. Maybe we can still find a way to get more of you to Conghua on Friday night, but we need to get a better idea of the number of hashers who want to go. As always, the mismanagement will try its best to make everyone happy.
The fee is 280 RMB and that includes
Transportation to Conghua on January 6 or 7, and back to Guangzhou on January 8, 2012
One Lunch box on the Saturday bus
Two runs
One night in a double bed room at the hash hotel (Hashers who go on Friday have to pay the extra night themselves)
Post circle dinner on Saturday
All drinks on the bus and in the circle
And now also: French Tickler’s yummy BBQ after the Hangover Run on Sunday!!!
If you make up your mind to show Soggy the Hash Respect he deserves, and to help send him off in a good old hash fashion, let us know ASAP. This will also help us to coordinate with bus drivers and the hotel.
On On,
00
#1142 - The Real Dragon Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Gong Xi Fa Cai!
I didn’t want to hare this weekend, but then Constipation flattered me, assuring me that I was not only the best hare available, but in fact the only one at all. Who could have said no? No truly vain hasher could have, and I am certainly not exceptional.
But there is another reason why I am so eager to hare. Just yesterday, Hash Santa reminded me of his recent promise: Hashers who hare 6 times will receive a pair of the prestigious ‘Hares-get-laid’ running shorts of the Guangzhou Hash. The shorts come in two shapes, the ‘Get-out-Easy’ model for our male hares, and for our harriettes the even more practical ‘Get-in-Easy’ model. Kick-off date was, of course, X’mas 2011. The shorts cannot be purchased. The edition is limited to 20 or 25 pairs, so better hurry. Register as a hare with Constipation today, if you feel the urge to get laid in the Year of the Dragon.
Some smart hashers have already read the signs of the times and are excited about the prospects the prestigious ‘Hares-get-laid’ shorts offer. And so, it is my preasure to present to you as the co-hare of the first hash in the Year of the Dragon, and as a good omen of sorts for the upcuming hashing season: The Angry Dragon.
Thanks to Meatballs’ good guanxi with the local weather gods the sun will be out and the temperatures will be up 10 or 15 degrees from where they are right now. So don’t be a pussy and cum to the Best Hash Ever in the Year of the Dragon!
When: Saturday, January 28, 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
On On,
00