Guangzhou Hash House Harriers
# 1300 The Ethnic Hash & Annual Hash Bash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
TICKETS
I usually don’t do this in hashvertisements, but since this is really good news for the organizers of the Intercultural Ethnic Annual Hash Bash I herewith give you the first ever number in a hashvertisement that wasn’t made up. We sold all 70 tickets and there is no one on the waiting list. I assume this will change as soon as our regular Slowies read these lines. So if you hold a ticket and you don’t want to go, please tell me ASAP, so that we can pass it on to someone else. If you have reserved but not paid yet you better make sure that you cancel in time, otherwise we still make you pay. Remember: No cancel – no refund!
The party is at the “Little India” on Huali Lu and Guangzhou Dadao. You can see the restaurant from the Guangzhou Dadao, It’s behind a huge bus stop. The nearest subway station is Wuyangcun Station on Line 5.The address is on the attachment. Party and buffet start at 8 PM. While the buffet stops at 10 PM the party continues until 1 AM with free beer, softies, music and wine.
Please remember that there is a motto, and that is to wear your national dress, or something that is typical for where you come from. I, for example, will wear my “Pickelhaube”.
Of course, we do have a hash before the party. Whorenando is finally mutating into a hare. Too bad he is going to fuck-off in January. Together with Fill Her Up our new haring dream team will set a breath-taking trail in a secret location just 20 minutes by bus from the Gold Mango Bar. The trail will be of the usual length, but the circle will be shorter than usual, so that everybody can make it back home to change into their national costumes and then go to the Little India.
Meet at 1 PM at the Gold Mango Bar. The bus leaves on time, since time really matters this Saturday.
On On,
00
#1299 - The Fresh Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
It’s finally not so annoyingly hot anymore and the hares will certainly take this into consideration when setting what they think will be the Best Hash Ever, or at least the Best Hash in 2014.
Why is that so important to them? Because it is only one week left to the Hash Awards Ceremony, aka Christmas Party, aka The Intercultural Ethnic Annual Hash Bash, and the award for the Best Hash of the Year has always been considered as one of the most prestigious awards a Guangzhou Hasher can get.
So be there and don’t miss this final attempt to reach the highest heights*.
When: Saturday, December 6, 2014 @ 1PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Hunkaspunk + mystery flour bitch
On On,
00
PS: Bring 200 RMB if you want to join the Christmas Party on December 13. See attached invitation. Seats are limited!!! Really.
*no pun intended as intending puns is illegal in China now!
November & December 2014
# 1298 – The Nerdy Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
++++++ Christmas Party on December 13, 2014. Pay 200 RMB. NOW ++++++
Initially I had planned to make the motto of the week “The Fertile Hash” since we currently have so many pregnant women on our hash, but then I realized that the only hashers who get crazy about this kind of stuff usually speak fluent Mandarin and don’t read hashvertisements. Hence, I decided to focus on an issue that has been on my mind for a while already: The dreadful perception that nerds ‘enjoy’ in our society. Generally singled out as incredibly boring people by the well-meaning or – fortunately less often – brought down as potential serial killers by the not-so-well-meaning, nerds usually suffer through a life of loneliness and degradation.
As you know, the Guangzhou Hash has always taken pride in changing the course of the world by reaching out to the less fortunate. We therefore decided to give one (1) unit of nerd the chance to get out of the dumpsters and into a somewhat dignified and meaningful existence as a member of the GZH3 mismanagement team. This life-changing opportunity comes under only one tiny little condition, and that is to take care of our website. If you think that’s easy then apply for the job.
When: Saturday, November 29, 2014 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Cum Cannon & Pepe Le Pew #2
On On,
00
click here to find the Nerdy Hash on the map.
# 1296 - The Shining Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
I might have mentioned once or twice in the past that the Guangzhou Hash is having an issue with the hares, haven't I? Well, that's not quite correct. We don't have an issue with the hares. We have an issue without them. So, for instance, this Saturday.
Should I care? I certainly shouldn't show up on the hash and get my broken foot into trouble again, but rather hang out on my couch and leave it to our new AssGM Himalaya to deal with 50 or so impatient hashers who have nowhere to go to because none of them had the guts to set a trail.
However, better still would be if a knight in shining armor stepped up to be the noble hare, and thus help Himalaya to gently get through her first full hash as the AssGM as well as through her first one as the acting GM.
Be that Knight...
When: Saturday, November 15, 2014 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Volunteer NOW!
On On,
00
# 1295 - The New AssGM Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
*** Meet at 1 PM *** yes, you too, Judy 69
Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. For example, my plan was to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of the Guangzhou Hash at the beach in Dongchong a couple of weeks ago and then to continue with the 'mismanagement as usual'* of our distinguished group. Instead, life happened and now I am sitting on my couch with a broken foot, thanking the gods for having created the Internet, or bitching about existence in general and trying to get cold beer from the fridge in particular. I admit, I spend much more time on the bitching than on the being-grateful part. That's why recently I came to reflect on all the miseries currently clouding my life. One of them is of course that my dear friend Circle Jerk has left Guangzhou. Besides being an outstanding hasher he also was the AssGM of the GZH3.
With him in Sweden and me on the couch the Guangzhou Hash is at the moment without any form of Grand Mastery and, needless to say, the shit already hit the fan, and it's probably still dripping. Last Saturday, with no GM or AssGM misleading the group not even a single screw-up was reported. This was unprecedented and is a major embarrassment for the GZH3 and, hence, we shall appoint a new AssGM this Saturday to get our weekly hash back down to mediocrity.
Where: Gold Mango Bar
When: Saturday, November 8, 2014 @ 1PM
Hares: Fill Her Up, Thumbleprints
What: New Assistant Grand Master or Assistant Grand Mattress
On On,
00
*i.e. by delegation
PS: Nerd Alert: We need a Web Wanker. Who wants to be in charge of our home page?
PPS: Don't ask what your hash can do for you. Ask what you can do for the hash. And the answer is: Become a hare.
PPPS: Don't forget the Full Moon Hash tonight. Modeisha Station, Exit C, Line 8 @ 7.30 PM
# 1294 - The Unique Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
*** MEET AT 1 PM ***
November-the-First hashes have always seen their fair shares of Helloweeners. There are always certain individuals who will barely make it back home after a drunk night out, then pass out on their kitchen floor and in the morning - surprise, surprise - lack the motivation to slip into some proper running gear before they hit the beer buckets at the Mango Bar, while others, though having managed to get out of their costumes and into their beds, often look scarier than they did the evening before. That's business as usual or, better, hashing as usual.
But is that really true? Is there such a thing as a usual hash at all? Isn't every hash a unique affair? After all, the crowds we get always change, the trails are always new to quite a lot of hashers, the wittiness of the down downs is varying dramatically and the beer always tastes different albeit always a bit funny.* This week's run for example is unique because it is probably going to be a repetition of the trail the same hares set a fortnight ago, and that we really never had before. But maybe I am wrong and the hares come up with a new improved virgin trail - which would make it - and that proves my point - a unique hash, too.
When: Saturday, November 1, 2014 @ 1 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Gorf & Dew Lay Lama
What: Breath-taking trail on Maofengshan
On On,
00
PS: Don't forget the Helloween Hash on Friday Night. Dongshankou Station, Lines 1 and 6, Exit F @ 7.30 PM.
PPS: Nerd Alert: We need a Web Wanker. Who wants to be in charge of our home page?
*The hashvertisement though as the main source of reliable information and probably the only provider of high-level education on the Guangzhou Hash remains the only constant in our world of permanent uniqueness.
