#1013 - The Blitzkrieg Hash

 

Today marks the 70th anniversary of the beginning of what commonly is known as World War II. The German hash community of the Guangzhou Hash is proud to invite all fellow hashers to participate in a reenactment of the events that changed the course of history. We feel that it is our patriotic duty to show the world that many of the so-called “facts” are simply inventions of over-imaginative Hollywood writers and bear no resemblance to the truth. During the reenactment you will learn the following:

 

·       Poland’s armed forces maybe tried but never succeeded to occupy Germany.

·       Hitler died of a heart attack while having his first legitimate sex with Evil Braun (We are still looking for a voluntary who is willing to grow a Charlie Chaplin moustache, get a lousy hair cut and die of a heart attack. Due to the disturbingly high number of minors on the hash, the sex scene with Evil Braun has to be censored though. Instead, we will fabricate evidence that Evil Braun maintained her virginity beyond Hitler’s demise.)

·       After Hitler’s death, Germans decided that war was getting really boring and therefore called it a tie.

·       The battle of Stalingrad was lost only after the Russians cut the electric power supply. Without functioning refrigerators the German army had no way to cool down their beer to an acceptable temperature, causing a mutiny amongst the otherwise invincible soldiers (won’t happen during the circle, so beware, you Russians).

·       The Frenchies never surrendered and fought a heroic war and they all were members of the Resistance.

·       Italians have been praised by all sides to be the most loyal of all loyal warriors.

·       And most importantly, how to set an outstanding hash run.

 

The event (aka Blitzkrieg Hash) will be held on September 5th, 2009. We will show you the Fuhrerbunker, a concentration camp, the SS-headquarters, a submarine battle (so don’t forget to bring something dry to change, as well as your hash towel!), and of course at least one original shower room of that era equipped with the finest of personal hygiene products made by IG Farben - a truly breathtaking experience.

 

To learn more about the nature of reenactments we strongly suggest you to go to http://www.southparkstudios.com/ and then watch Season 3, episode 314: The Red Badge of Gayness.

 

Meet at 1:30 at Golden Mango for 2:00 P.M. departure. We have organized a windowless wagon for your safe deportation to the run site.

 

We will arrange for an outstanding German Henkersmahlzeit after the hash.

 

On On

Ze Krautz