Guangzhou Hash House Harriers
#1158 – The Annual Red Dress Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
(You receive this hashvertisement already today, to give you two more days to prepare your red dress in time)
今年的“红裙子慈善跑”，我们选择把募捐款项和您的爱心捐助给广东公益恤孤助学会，资助孤贫学生。
广东公益恤孤助学会是依法成立的民间慈善团体，核心业务是无偿资助孤贫学生上学。
助学会全部资金来自海内外民间捐赠，所有捐款100%用于慈善事业，所有行政费用由理事单位另外提供。工作人员除八名是受薪的专职人员外，另有过千名在册工作的志愿者。
助学会成立时向社会公开承诺：
● 所有捐款和物资全部用于符合本会章程、宗旨的慈善性公益事业。
●财务收支完全公开，欢迎和接受捐赠人、社会各界人士、新闻媒体和政府主管部门查询、检查、监督。
● 本会不从事任何营利性经营活动，确保所有捐款的安全。
● 本会领导不领取工资、津贴等任何报酬。
成立时给捐赠人公开信：欢迎“在任何时候，可以在事先不通知我们的情况下，前来查询、审核和指导，我们将提供全部资料和工作方便。
The Orphan Education Society of Guangdong (OES) supports orphans and other poor children by paying their school fees, study materials, food etc. It is run by Mr. Wang Song Tang, a former executive manager with COSCO in Guangzhou. Grateful that life had been so good to him, he had long had the desire to give something back in return. After retiring he founded the OES, initially funding it with his own savings. Thanks to his his great organizational skills, he encouraged over 1000 volunteers to help. Many of them spend a lot of time traveling to the countryside to make sure the money is spent properly, and on the right kids.
Nowadays, the organization has further expanded its scope and also supports sick people who cannot afford urgent medical treatment. During my visit to Mr. Wang’s cramped and busy office a few weeks ago, he mentioned that the OES is going to pay for a surgery for a patient who is suffering from thalassemia. The idea to cover this patient’s surgery had been favored by some members of the voting committee. You can imagine how happy I was to hear that OES is taking care of this patient, because at the end of the day a majority of mismanagers had voted for the OES to be the beneficiary of our Annual Red Dress Run.
When I met Mr. Wang, I asked myself two questions. Does he have the right intentions? Furthermore, is he capable of running this quite large organization without being ripped off too much and without an administrative head which is too big for the body? I believe the answer to both questions is Yes!
In order to cut a long story short: We are going to collect donations for the OES, both, before and after the run, and you are advised to bring a bit more cash to the Hash than you usually do.
Whilst no one will be physically forced to give, the mismanagement strongly recommends that you are going to wear something RED. This is an ancient hash tradition, and we Guangzhou Hashers do obey it!!! Offenders might be put on ice.
When: 19th of May, 2012 @ 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
What: Charity Run. Give, if you can
What else: Extra Ice
What else else?
Chuck has lost her Yangchengtong on the bus or at the Mango last Saturday. Normally, I would not mention this in a hashvertisement, but here’s the deal: She offers a favor for the safe return of the card. Probably it’ll even be a big one, because this card is also her SYSU card…. and frankly, I have absolutely no idea what that could possibly stand for….
On On,
00
#1159 – The Amazingly Virginal Run
cum on the amazing virgin--
ahem, hash.
Virgin trail, virgin hares, relive your first time… on the hash.
Hearken back to the days of runs safe from the shady advances of boy toy moosefucker Tim.
As you know, a virgin trail is rare on the Guangzhou hash, which is why we worked LONG and HARD finding the best run in GZ. We don’t want people finishing early but we promise it won’t hurt too much!
Remember, it’s always better on top -- you will marvel at the beautiful views from the peak of GZ.
Be amazed at how the weather in GZ is always so beautiful (we can’t complain about a little wetness).
Finish the runners trail to arrive in Jannah and have a circle with 72 virgins!!!
(and if 72 is not enough, I have it from a credible source that any hashers who manages to catch Tim the Hare can have their way with him)
Show up at Mango Bar at 130pm Saturday, May 26th to find the other virgins and begin the day’s rough, but satisfying session.
Tim + Chuck
#1156 – The Zapatistas Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Emiliano Zapata was a leading figure of the Mexican revolution, but what he got really famous for is of course the Zapata’s bar chain with bars and clubs in Shanghai and maybe even in other places. Their loyal patrons are usually referred to as the Zapatistas.
Starting from Saturday, Guangzhou will also have a Zapata’s branch! That alone would already be a good reason to get euphoric, but it’s still getting better. As the Guangzhou Hashers are known to be distinguished Ladies and Gentlemen (for evidence see above) with a touch of class, we have all been invited to the Grand Opening on May 5th @ 6.30 PM.
You have to PRINT OUT THE INVITATION to get in! Otherwise anyone could claim to be a hasher.
From 6.30 until 8.30 PM it’s invitation only, after that they will admit basically everyone, classy or not. Free snacks will be served until finished (rather earlier than later) and free drinks until 9PM.
Great deal, you probably say, but how can I make use of it? I have to go to the Best Hash Ever, and we won’t be finished at 8.30, at least not long before that. And then I also still have to shower and get dressed up a bit, haven’t I?
Yes, yes, yes, that’s all correct. Even though the Hash will be set close to the city, you might not make it in time for the free drinks. At least not, if you are planning to shower properly. Therefore, Zapata’s man on the ground in Guangzhou, fellow hasher Winnie Mandela, is handing out 80 RMB drink coupons to all hashers that come late because they had gone to the Hash. That’ll buy you two Mexican Revolutionary beers without missing the first swim Hash in 2012!
Really? A swim Hash?
Yes, that’s right. After recent torrential rain falls all water reservoirs are full and the water is cleaner than ever.
So cum all to the Hash on Saturday, and find out why Globetwatter is tougher than Sir Cum (and anyone else of us).
Where: Gold Mango Bar
When: Saturday, May 5th @ 1.30 PM
Who: Globetwatter and Sir Cum
On On,
00
#1157 - The Back from the Other Side Hash
As you know floppy has been absent from the hash for a few weeks due to some serious medical problems; yeah he was all messed up.
However he is back from his death bed to give the GZ hashers a run that will literally kill you…ha-ha
See you at that the mango Saturday 1:30 PM
May & June 2012
#1160 - The Early Bird Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
‘The Early Bird catches the Mosquito’ is a saying I grew up with. On Saturday, this saying will prove true in two ways. For one, it is your last chance to make use of the early bird discount that grants you a seat on the bus to Hanguang (formerly known as Qingyuan) for just 300 RMB. One thumb up! After Saturday the price goes up to a still ridiculously low 350 RMB. Some of you have asked whether there will be a bus on Friday, too. Well, not officially, but we are happy to work something out for you. Therefore, we would need to know how many people want to go on Friday ASAP! Tell us by mail, or on Saturday at the Mango.
For the other, it appears that the run site offers great opportunities to catch the occasional mosquito. Two thumbs up!! While this may sound like fun to most of you, others aren’t so fond of them little buggers. For these people, the hares have a good advice: Bring large quantities of mosquito repellent.
While this sounds a bit exaggerated to me, another remark the hares made does not. During last night’s hash conference the excited hares promised that they are going to set the Best Hash Ever. Three thumbs up!!!
Where: Gold Mango Bar
When: Saturday, June 2, 2012 @ 1.30 PM
Who: Yan Can Suck, French Tickler
What: Dinner back in town
On On,
00
#1161 & 1162 - Meatballs's F@ck Off Hashes
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Summary
When: Saturday, June 9, 2012 @ 10.30 A.M.
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Price: 300 RMB until June 2, then 350 RMB
Return: Sunday, June 10, late afternoon or early evening
What: Pay to Hash Cash every Saturday at the Mango
For many people, the years spent on the Guangzhou Hash are their formative ones. This has been so also thanks to our Religious Advisor Meatballs, whose good example has inspired generations of young hashers. It was Meatballs, who always thought about enforcing our strict No-Beer-Spillage policy on the Hash, although he never ever shared his idea with anyone. That is what smart people call a wise move. He also taught us believers that beer alone is not alcohol, and that it is only to be considered alcohol when enjoyed in combination with Baijiu.
‘Drinking alcohol is our holy duty, he therefore repeatedly emphasized during the Hash press conference at the Gold Mango late last night, before he finally stated that this shall be his ‘most important teaching, and my legacy to the Guangzhou Hash’.
His Legacy? That’s a pretty big word for a man of Meatballs’ size. Could this be the first sign of a serious depression? Or worse, has he gone completely nuts?
Don’t worry, it’s none of it. In fact, Meatballs has never been better. The higher being that gives his existence meaning and direction (aka ‘The Foreign Secretary’) has ordered him to go to a hash-forsaken place called Uruguay to spread the true spirit of Hashing to the infidels. Hallelujah. Or better say ‘ON ON’! and ‘Hash Respect’!
Being in such a state of divine ecstasy, he nearly forgot to mention that the Guangzhou Hash is going to celebrate his Fuck-Off with a great Away Hash to Qingyuan, which is also known as Little Yangshuo. Not because it weren’t as pretty as Yangshuo (which it is), but rather because it gets much fewer tourists. Actually, we were really lucky to find a hotel that can host our quite large group, and even happier to learn that the hotel’s name is ‘The Superfun Hash Hotel’, or something like that. Super Wow!
As always on an Away Hash, the number of hashers is limited to the number of seats on the bus (unless you organize your own transport). Therefore, pay up as soon as possible. Remember: The mismanagement won’t accept any email reservation, only CASH!
The price is 350 RMB, but we give an early bird discount. If you pay until June 2nd you’ll get the whole package for a mere 300 RMB. So you better pay this Saturday. It’s not only cheaper, but it also guarantees you a seat on the bus!
The price includes:
· A few rides on our Superfun Hash Bus
· All toll fees on the so-called Superfun Highway to Qingyuan
· Dinner after Saturday run
· Lunch after Sunday hangover run
· Drinks on the bus and in the circle
· Meatballs Fuck-Off T-shirt
· One night in a shared double bed room at the Superfun Hash Hotel. If they’ll have enough rooms, you can kick out your room mate for an extra 50 RMB. Let us know early to check room availability with the hotel.
· Two breathtaking runs: one on Saturday and a hangover run on Sunday.
The hotel offers a breakfast buffet for 10 RMB. Because a lot of you won’t get up early enough to make use of it, we decided to leave it up to you to go for it or not, and slashed 10 RMB off the originally 400 RMB run fee. We also don’t organize any lunch box for the bus ride on Saturday! That’s another 40 RMB more in your pockets! Wow! Bring your own lunch, or better still, prepare a bit more and share it with the others. This might increase your popularity a lot, at least for a little while.
Detailed itinerary for the Away Hash on June 9/10, 2012:
Saturday
10.30 A.M.: Meet @ the Gold Mango Bar
11.00 till late: Kick some Meatballs
Sunday
Early till late: Kick more Meatballs
Circle time: Find out who will give us our future religious advice
On On,
00
#1163 - The First Annual Pantyless Hash
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
The dreadful hare drainage on our distinguished Hash continues! Hare more often!!! It’s not difficult, it just takes a bit of your time. The reward however, is priceless.
With Meatballs and Hand Solo we have just lost two regular and experienced hares to the flow of time. For details, please check out Titty Tattle’s shocking hash trash.
This coming Saturday, another hasher - this one a young and aspiring hare - will fuck off. During her relatively short time on the hash, Pantyless has spurred many good hashers imagination. She may leave us, but her spirit shall live On On our hash. Therefore, the hares have declared this run to be the
First Annual Pantyless Run
Because this event will probably inspire more women than men, the male hares Constipation and Hunkaspunk promised during last night’s hash press conference / game analysis (see other attachments, thanks MB), that they themselves will serve as a good example.
'It feels comfortable, sexy, and it also makes things so much easier for hares when getting caught', analyzed Hunkaspunk in a still optimistic mood right before the game.
If you want to know whether Hunkaspunk is right, be at the Gold Mango Bar on Saturday, June 16, 2012, @ 1.30 PM. If you’d like to acquire further behind-the-scenes intel on last night’s game, don’t miss the circle!
On On,
00
#1164 – The Second Annual Pantyless Run
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Where: Gold Mango Bar
When: Saturday, June 23, 2012 @ 1.30 PM
Who: Globetwatter and Sir Cum
After the huge success of the First Annual Pantyless Run the mismanagement can no longer ignore the many calls for the
Second Annual Pantyless Run
This naturally raises some questions (Q), but it goes without saying that the mismanagement team has all the answers (A) you need to know:
Q: Has it really been a year since we celebrated the First Annual Pantyless Run of the Guangzhou Hash?
A: It seems shorter to me, too, but I couldn’t be bothered looking into the files of our past runs just to double-check the exact inauguration date. Don’t forget, time flies when you are having fun, so it could have been much longer ago than you imagine.
Q: Will Pantyless attend the ‘Annual Pantyless Run’ this time? Or will she cum up with an even lamer excuse than the one she used for her no-show last Saturday?
A: Whatever the word ‘promise’ is worth in this context, but she promised to cum because this will finally be her final F*ck Off Hash!
Q: Do hashers have to cum pantyless?
A: Don’t ask silly question, and use your brain instead.
Q: Do I have to be the hare?
A: Not this time, but AS YOU KNOW the Guangzhou Hash urgently needs committed hares to keep the quality of runs up at the high level where they are now. So go out to the woods and country parks, and scout for good trails.
Q: Will it get me laid more often if I become a regular hare?
A: Yes!
Q: Can I ask more questions?
A: No, unless they are really silly, and you have that weird desire to end up in the middle of the circle on Saturday.
On On,
00
#1165 - The Zoological Hash
Cum one, cum all only be proper and no daisy chains allowed. --I know this description combines two very different dishes - Sole being a fish and of course hare is that lovely lapin that the French love ----but I digress.
GPS says that it'll be as sweet as honey, as rigorous as doing a K2 climb as short and sweet as a fast talking man to a lovely woman, and could be a slippery as ice-hockey on a mountain meadow, nonetheless here are two parts of the same story....see below
Cum one cum all…..(no daisy chains allowed) For the cumming hash GPS will be the sole hare GPS will give you a run/walk for your money. He is taking us to virgin territories---at least symbolically speaking. It might be short and fast- as many of the silver tongued young men might argue to their ladylove (with honey at the end) OR it might be as slippery, long, and hard as others might argue that all hashers should be. Mountain high and/or valley low cum to the hash and view what GPS is concocting as a twilight virgin trail.